All American Funk Parade with The Brandino Extravaganza

What hath there to say about they whom all hath already been said? Approaching their 20th year of partying with you, from basements to ball parks, stages to stadiums, headlining festivals to hiding in dark sticky places, ravishing audiences, and allowing audiences to ravish them, The All American Funk Parade is still here. And for this, their 6th Annual Bells Holiday Party, they are once again raising the bar, a bar that you thought had reached its absolute zenith… but nay. There exists no ceiling able to withstand the unstoppable penetrating force of the All American Funk Parade’s ability to RAISE THE BAR. When, during the 5th Annual Holiday Party, they brought forth a legendary, generational Accordianisto, or during the 4th Annual Holiday Party, when, from the fog there emerged a fiddle wielding “great” ape, or during the 3rd Annual Holiday Party, when something else really cool happened but I can’t remember what it was. The list goes on and on. If you haven’t yet experienced a Funk Parade Holiday Party, but you are still reading this autobiography, then you are exactly the type of maniac who belongs on the dance floor with us. I 100% guarantee that, should you participate in this evening, it will be the single greatest show you have ever seen, or your money back. I will personally take $22 out of my pocket and feed it to your ungrateful, funk-fearing mouth, all the while encouraging you to try again next year. For perhaps then you will be ready and willing to surrender to the funk, to give yourself with absolute abandon to the Dance Party that layeth out before you. And also, it’s Christmas time for f@%$’s sake, so let’s be jolly.